loser monologue

from i'll be okay by sign crushes motorist

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lyrics

i stare at ur pictures for hours on end, dreaming, fantasising about holding you, feeling my hands on ur bare skin, just being with you. but i know itll never happen, but i cant stop myself from fantasising. i think about you for hours until i realise how much time ive spent thinking of a scenario that will never happen. youre so beautiful and funny, and anytime i see your picture or even hear your name my stomach flips and i get butterflies, every word u say sends goosebumps all over my body. ive tried for so long not to look at u, to not look at pictures of you, to cut off all contact with you. but i cant stop it. i cant stop how i feel. i dont know if ill ever stop feeling this way, at least not for a long time. when i see you with him it makes me sick to my stomach, and although that should put me off you, it doesnt. it only makes me want u more. if you knew how i felt, i wouldnt even be writing this shit, i wouldnt be so lonely. youd understand how much you mean to me. you mean so much to me. i wish youd look at me the way i look at you. i wish i could be with you, i just want to feel the warmth of ur body next to mine, to see your smile. i want to play with your hair, see it shine under the sun as it hits u just right, i want to watch the sun sink behind the hills with you, talk, laugh, make out, anything. i just want anything from you.

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from i'll be okay, released August 5, 2022

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